613A: Top 16 Results Show Recap!

Hey folks,

So, it's the first results show of the season. The first time that Ameriker has had any say. What do you think? Did Tweens protect Mollee and Nathan? Can Ellenore and Ryan avoid the bottom three after that mildly godawful hip-hop? Will Ashleigh be wearing an even more ridiculous pair of pants? And on a scale of 1-10, will Cat be an 150 or something higher on the adorable scale? Lets find out...



Cat is… wearing too much makeup. And maybe a shiny red faux animal print thing. Tonight, not so great in the styling department for our kitten. Tonight’s group number is an Mayan/African inspired hip-hop number. Legacy has a great section dancing with Jakob, and Ellenore has a nice section where she’s in the lead too. I think Ryan has a cool section too. I’m not 100% sure its him, but whoever it is is all big and muscley, so I’m guessing Ryan. It was a Dave Scott number, and, while parts were cool, I don’t think it’ll be particularly memorable down the line. Our normal jidges are in the house., and Nigel is in a leather jacket. I don’t like “attempting to look cool” Nigel. He’s saying that there are probably some lucky people who Ameriker voted in but they would boot off (cough cough MOLLEE, at least, I hope that’s who they’re talking about). Shankers thinks the voting public will get it right only because its about voting for your favorite dancer not the best, so technically whatever they decide is right. That… kind of makes sense, I guess. He describes the potential results as sketchy.

We’re jumping right into results with the first three couples: Kathryn and Legacy, Channing and Victor, and Ellenore and Ryan. They’re starting with Ellenore and Ryan, who had a rough go last night, but who I’m really rooting for. They are in the bottom three, however, and if they get rid of either of these two, especially Ellenore, I am going to be one Angry Ade. Channing and Victor are next, and we relive all their good praise (which I didn’t think they quite deserved) and Nigel’s comments (which I wholeheartedly agree with), but we wait and see what the jidges had to say about Kathryn and Legacy before finding out that both couples are safe. Um, all I have to say is blerg that Channing and Victor are safe.

We get a video package of Dominic from S3 and his new absolutely awful hair style seeing if the audience knows their dance moves. It’s… painful to watch. And not just because his hair is so ridiculously terrible. But seriously, his hair is like Ashleigh’s pants bad. Apparently, everyone who participated gets a scooter. Can I get a few minutes of my time back?

The next group of couples are up on stage, starting with Ashleigh and Jakob, who got my highest marks of the night. And they’re safe, which is acceptable, even if it means Ashleigh survives another week. Pauline and Peter are next, and after their quite enjoyable quickstep last night, we wait to hear their results until after we recap last night’s Sean Cheesman Afro Jazz number for Noelle and Russell. Of those two couples, I wonder which is in the bottom: the dreaded quickstep or the wildly popular krumper? No shock, it’s Pauline and Peter who will have to dance for their lives. Good. That should at least spare Ellenore, because they’ll totally dump Pauline before Ellenore. I hope.

The final two couples fates left in the air are Mollee and Nathan and Karen and Kevin. Of those two, I’m guessing it’s gonna be the latter, because tweenage girls probably sacrificed their hands and parents’ phone bills voting for ZOMG Nathan. In case you couldn’t tell, I’m starting to really sour on the guy, whose personality is starting to really rub me the wrong way. Plus, Walking Embodiment of a Text Message Mollee (TM- Micahel Slezak of EW) leaves me feeling empty and not nearly perky enough inside. I still have NO idea what Mary meant when she described the salsa as French Fried, but it doesn’t matter, because of course, they’re safe, and Karen and Kevin are in the bottom 3. Sucks for Pauline. Unless Karen or Ellenore screws up majorly, she’s kind of dunzo. Nigel also rips into Nathan for being immature, which is right on the ball. Cue Tweenage girls booing Nigel. Because, as a group, they’re just bastions of maturity. Sorry, I’m still a bit bitter that Ellenore hit the bottom three but not these guys.

Three dancers from the Alvin Ailey Dance Company are on stage, doing a routine, and it’s utterly fantabulous. Just, go find video of it. Don’t just take my words. This makes the top 16 look like those dancers that Dominic interacted with. Can we recruit these three into the top 16?

DANCE. FOR. YOUR. LIFE!!!!!:

Ellenore: She could have danced a little more, but she’s amazing, and I love the way she incorporates her quirkiness into her dancing, and there’s no reason she should go home over Pauline. Sorry, Pauline fans.

Ryan: Ryan is all covered up for this one, and that makes me focus on his dancing, which is actually quite good and seriously dynamic for a ballroom solo.

Pauline: Pauline’s solo is quite good. But its maybe a tad over sexy, but should not keep her in the competition over Ellenore. Sorry, I’m biased. I know. But her solo also wasn’t as good.

Peter: Peter is, VERY WISELY, soloing a capella, and its far more dynamic than either tap solo last week, because it’s all about the rhythm and makes his footwork so much more interesting.

Karen: Karen’s solo is, actually, kind of weak. I mean, ballroom solos tend to be a little lacking, and, while her foot action is there, her personality kind of… isn’t. Could she have just saved Pauline?

Kevin: Kevin is soloing to a Wade Robson number, and, while it’s suitably cool, it’s not up to snuff with the other two solos. I think just hip-hop saturation will do him in (only one ballroom guy and only one tapper left vs. 3 hip-hop-esque dancers).

After this I’d get rid of Pauline and Kevin.

RESULTS TIME:

The girls are up first. Nigel starts out by giving everyone who danced solos tonight a harsh reprimand for not living up to S5 solo standards, and tells the audience to shut up. I have to say, I’m kind of loving mean harsh Nigel. Then again, do we remember season 5 at the top 16? Jonathan, anyone? Karen is called forward first. He tells her she’s super smoldery and may be intimidating in her sensuality. Ellenore is called forward next, and they tell her not to lose her competitive edge amidst her quirk. Pauline is called forward then, and he defers to Shankers to tell Pauline that she dances like an advanced student, finally just eliminating her. (Pauline, if that wasn’t clear). Pauline gets her video package and is shunted to the lonely stool of post-eliminated misery.

The guys are next, and Ryan is called forward first, and they say his round-off doesn’t compare to Ade and he needs to start improving across the board. Peter is called forward next, and Nigel tells him that they haven’t seen star quality from him yet. Kevin is safe because he’s improving, but Peter apparently isn’t. In fact, Peter’s going home. He also gets his video package, before Cat tells us Glee is on and signs off. So I’m gonna follow her lead. I’m Nate Levy, Good Night Ameriker!